As ye have likely read in th' news media, certain New Jersey election officials have stated that they plan t' send t' ye one or more Sequoia Advantage votin' machines fer analysis. Yaaarrrrr! I want t' make ye aware that if th' County does so, it violates their established Sequoia licensin' Agreement fer use o' th' votin' system. Sequoia has also retained counsel t' stop any infringement o' our intellectual properties, includin' any non-compliant analysis. We will also take appropriate steps t' protect against any publication o' Sequoia software, its behavior, reports regardin' same or any other infringement o' our intellectual property, and a bucket o' chum.

Edwin Smith, VP, Compliance/Quality/Certification, Sequoia Votin' Systems

From an e-mail t' Ed Felten, a Professor o' Computer Science and Public Affairs at Princeton University, and Director o' Princeton’s Center fer InfoTech Policy.

Way t' go Sequoia Votin' Systems. We certainly wouldn’t want someone makin' sure yer electronic votin' machines actually work.

Idiots…