Dennis Prager has said, “The only happy people I know are those I don’t know well.” By censoring all our faults, we can make people feel isolated, as though they’re the only ones with problems.

Conversely, if we all talk about our immoral behavior, maybe we make it seem normal and acceptable. Appropriateness of time, place, and person we talk to would seem to be important for certain admissions.

I don’t have all the answers. I may not even have good questions.

Thanks for the comments, Donkey and Charlene.

Is being transparent noble?

You would let others at church know you fought on the way to church for what purpose? To embarrass – your family, yourself, the listener? To entertain the listener? To appear more pious than the listener because you are transparent? Where do you draw the line?

I don’t want total transparency online or even in person.

Most individuals have flaws, why should they be shared with the world? On-line therapy?

Self-censoring is a good thing in person and online.

For example, I don’t want to know that you – whatever your age – saw my daughter in class and think she is “hot” or “sick” or whatever. Don’t tweet about it. Censor yourself.

One step of protection I’ve taken is that my Twitter account doesn’t identify me by name or my company. That way, I feel free to be myself and not worry about clients or potential clients linking comments they find offensive back to me. I’m seriously considering knocking down that firewall, and am working with my inner censor to make that change and feel good about it.

It’s not that I rant on Twitter about politics or religion (traditionally polarizing topics), or that I’m making cracks about my clients that would embarrass me. I have nothing in my Twitter timeline to hide. However, I feel I’ve been very free about my inner world, and I usually have a strong wall between personal relationships and business relationships. The social media world is dissolving my old understandings, and I’m not sure I have good ones to replace them yet.

One thing I’ve found challenging about online communication is that after being so open with people online, I have found myself suddenly feeling self-conscious when participating in a Twitter meetup later. It’s an odd feeling to have shared something relatively personal with people online and then see them face to face. There is a false sense of intimacy from online communication that isn’t true in the real world relationship, and I bristle a bit every time I feel it.

Your comment about your relationship and your church brings up another angle in my mind. I don’t usually share information with others about where I really am in the relationship out of respect for the relationship. It’s no one else’s business. But I do relate to feeling like no one wants me to be that honest, and that I must put on a face because I’m expected to wear that face within a group. I really strive to toss aside all of the expected masks others try to put on me. It makes me less popular, for sure, but I can live with that because I can live with my honesty. I strive to be a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of gal. Sometimes, it works against me, but overall, I feel better and I can live with the problems it causes me.

Thanks for posting such an honest and thought-provoking entry.