Monthly Archive for June, 2005Page 2 of 3

[blogan: The following is a guest post by Marilyn Burge. Although she and I come from very different backgrounds and have vastly divergent views on religion and politics, she is a good friend and we enjoy debating the issues. Please join me in welcoming Marilyn to blogan.]

We argue constantly in America about abortion. The issue of whether or not to abort quickly gets bogged down in issues like when two joined cells become persons (The U.S. Constitution is actually pretty clear on this issue. It says Natural Born citizens, so there is no reason to believe that the Founding Fathers regarded the unborn as Americans, or, persons for that matter.), whether or not aborted fetuses feel pain during abortion, and, if they do, at what stage of pregnancy they are able to feel pain, etc. Sooner or later, the issue that gets talked about is guilt and regret. The guilt and regret of abortion is usually the focus of this part of the discussion. There are several fairly well-known evangelical groups that focus on this aspect of the problem. These groups are most likely started by a woman who has had an abortion and later regretted it, perhaps after converting to an evangelical faith. Or, perhaps she knows somebody who had an abortion and later regretted it, and wants to save others that pain she knows her friend or relative is experiencing. I would imagine it is inconceivable to her that a woman would feel anything other than guilt and regret, thinking as she does about how she would feel had she had aborted a fetus earlier in her life.

But life is messy. It is like a decision tree, where there are two or more forks in the road, and regardless of which prong of the fork is chosen, one encounters another fork further down that path, and, again finds yet another down whichever prong is then chosen.

So, if a woman is pregnant with an unwanted fetus and choose not to abort, her next fork is whether to keep the baby or adopt it out. Either choice has a huge potential to later cause the woman to feel guilt and regret. Keeping the baby will introduce her to the drudgery of having to support herself and another human being who later may not be entirely happy with her choice, knowing (or imagining) that a much better and easier life would have been theirs, had the birth mother chosen another path.

If the woman decides to adopt the baby, there is also a huge potential for guilt and regret. An item in the newspaper about a child of the same age who did something stupid and ended up in serious difficulty with the law, or, perhaps dead from getting behind the wheel of a car after drinking. “Was that my child? If it was, would things have turned out different if I had kept him or her?” More guilt and regret. There can be no end to it.

Not all woman experience guilt and/or regret, regardless of which path is chosen. Some (many?) have the presence of mind to put the whole sad affair behind them and get on with their lives. Some people are just more inclined to beat themselves up over their mistakes. That’s the way they are put together, it seems.

So, as much as we might like to think that women who abort will suffer guilt and regret, and that we are saving them from that, the plain truth is, it depends on their mindset — now and in the future. If that is their mindset, it is likely that there is no way to save them from their guilt and regret, regardless of how much we may want to. That is just the way they are put together, and guilt and regret will be what they, themselves will have to learn to deal with, and there is nothing we can do about it, try though we may.